Since my book launch, pages have turned, sales have simmered, and book bindings have remained stuck. Nothing horrible or unexpected has happened. And yet, there are still many deplorables in my book publishing and marketing basket—the worst part is gaining email subscribers for my newsletter. I’ve found the job akin to herding cats inside a David Lynch movie produced by persnickety sudoku enthusiasts. Why is it so hard?
I decided to seek advice from David Lynch himself, surreal filmmaker extraordinaire. David’s film credits include Blue Velvet and Twin Peaks. He has since passed. RIP Mr. Lynch. But you didn’t think I was serious, anyway, right?
Here’s what he had to say: 😊
“Sharon, if you take away nothing else from our imaginary Zoom correspondence, remember, when in doubt, talk backward.”
“esaelP, lliw uoy ebircsbus ot ym liame tsil?” I repeat very slowly to Mr. Lynch.
“No thanks,” he says. “But here’s another tip: When you send your newsletter, include an insane soundtrack to keep potential subscribers on edge. You know, unstable even.”
“I’m not sure if that will help me. But I can try Nirvana or Metallica, and maybe include a link for spotify in my next newsletter.”
“Great. Sarah, that’s your name, right? People like a good mystery. Tell people they may be signing up for a Sears credit card or your email list, but they won’t know which one—keep it cagey.”
“Okay, Mr. Lynch.”
“Sharon, here’s another gem: when you ask for new subscribers, make your questioning extremely difficult to follow. Keep potential subscribers on their toes. Make the tone weird, bizarre even. You know, switch it up. I like to use the word, discomforting, to describe my approach; maybe this feeling can help you, too. Do you understand me?”
“Yes, Mr. Lynch. I already feel slightly uncomfortable.”
“Good. Hey, Simone, I’ve got to go. I’m having lunch with an elephant and a coal miner. Goodbye.”
“This is going to be more difficult than I thought.”
knahT uoy rof gnidaer!
In other words,
THANK YOU FOR READING!
This post is an excerpt from my author newsletter! 🙂
My August newsletter hits inboxes next Monday. You can subscribe on my homepage to receive monthly smiles, a free greeting card and a short story!
Hello Sharon,
Love the cute kitty photos. I wish you all the best with your book.
Thank you for linking up and sharing your post.
Take care, have a wonderful week!
Never mind David Lynch‘s advice. I think that cat is going to get you more subscribers than anything else.
That was delightfully odd and hilarious, Lynch would be proud. I was actually a subscriber a while back, but I think I got dropped for not keeping up with my reading.
Thank you for actually reading my post Shiju!
Your book is so exciting but I know everything is a challenge! I’m wishing you the very best my friend!
Awww on kitty. They are such wonderful family members.
Thank you for joining the Wordless Wednesday Blog Hop.
Have a fabulous day and rest of the week. ♥
Hi Sharon, I love ❤️ the cat photos. 🐈 I wish you great success with your book.
…the black and white is magical.
Such an insightfully interesting post!
I love the cat photos.
Greetings Irma
I find it challenging but fun to read backwards. Great post!
Awww….love that cute kitty. Wishing you the best of luck with your book. Thank you for linking up.
Nice post – I think we all need to see the world as a little unhinged, then it would be less surprising!
Cheers – Stewart M – Melbourne